Lily Day 8

Lily Day 8 is a hard day. They gave her a blood transfusion this afternoon. We hear this is pretty common practice in premies since they don't have the ability yet to replace and reproduce the blood cells they need yet. This morning they also took an ultrasound of Lily's brain. This was to look for any bleeding in her brain (something else that happens often in premies - but is more concerning). The outcome - not as good as we hoped. She did have some bleeding in her brain. Lily's Dr. gave us an explanation of what was happening in Lily's brain and the good and bad outcomes. The best outcome is that the white blood cell's in Lily's brain will clean up the blood clot and all will be well. For obvious reasons - we are hoping and praying and praying some more that this will be the outcome. It's not a quick process and we may not know the direction of the outcome for a week or more. Ah -- to be patient - it's so difficult. Difficult to keep telling myself that it's not my fault - that I couldn't have done anything different to prevent what's happened in this past week - to prevent Lily from being born much much too early. I know these things in my head; but my heart still cries out in sadness for Lily. She is just so tiny. All I can do is pray for God's mercy on her. Please God, perform a miracle in my baby girl; give her strength to grow and to develop and to become a healthy little girl who plays and fights and laughs with Jude.